it's been like a rollercoaster ride for me this past week.. i don noe lah.. my xin1 qing2 goes haywire everyday... really pissed off at myself for being so... not strong and stuff... confused is confused is confused.

oowho.. had a great day today i must say... though it could've been better =)
woke up at like 6+ today, went to watch basketball at nie. rj boys lost vs sa, rj girls won vs yjc, guys hcjc 46-42 vjc.. stayed there for 4+ hrs.. great stuff.. the hc-vj match was like damn good, one of the better matches i've seen.. rox.. left at 1230 and went bishan to watch X2 with fabian and junyuan again(we used to call ourselves the Alt-F4 gang, quite lame lah..) ... X2 is damn good too.. din think nightcrawler would be that cool, it surprised me... first movie in a long while.. rox. went home and slack after that.. so was quite a good day considering the past few days... hope things will get better.
really psyched-up now about basketball.. must start training next week.. i'm secretly hoping that i can get some sort of position in bball... maybe v-capt or something... ha no harm hoping...

(significant other)
was very happy last night, just before i went to bed... can't say for sure why...

I've been feeling very empty lately, like there's a void in my life waiting to be filled. If i have to wait, i will.. just don't want it to be a fruitless wait k...

"So the bottom of my fears
Is that the girl might just disappear,
But that'll be the death of me,
The day she's just a memory"

Really boring day in school today.. absolutely nothing to speak of.. well, had a nosebleed for no reason, long time don't have already.. was walking out of toilet, then saw blood on my hands, strange i din notice in the mirror... watever.... after school, did my usual walk around school look for people to talk to thing.. real pissed off, got no friends, ha.
was an absolutely meaningless day today.. sigh.. things are starting to get meaningless.. sadness, physics test coming up, but i really can't study, mind's not right... think i'll flunk, which is bad. will try to pass but that's real hard cuz the topics are fricking tough... sadness.. can't believe i suck at all three sciences and yet, taking trip sci.. well, life's strange isn't it...

What's the point of being a nice guy when you don't get what you want?

really hope i can finally get out of this depressing state.. but it really doesn't depend on me only... other could help.. yeah, will try... it isn't easy.. but i won't give up. on anything. really.

wow, glad to see blog is fine again.. real happy. =)
thanks

woke up today feeling not so right... thought i might had a fever.. but, luckily it went away...
actually wanted to go back ri play soccer, but decided notto. ended up playing badminton with my family.. since the tennis courts were full.. was exhausting and i was real pissed at how lousy i've become.. ha
daoed my ex-class today.. they went to watch X2 today, i think.. haha. never mind, i mean i almost never go with them anymore. tha's bad, oh yah, especially since i was the monitor... hahaha. wow.
also, ended up going out with fabian and junyuan later in the afternoon to pool and crap.. thanks fabian, you're a real brother.. real tired now, juz spent 1+ hours sleeping on my notes... can't seem to get started.. sux. i hate mugging. absolutely...

been feeling better today... guess looking at things from another perspective can be good.. i'm a little toned-down now.. good or bad i don noe.. glad for a short sch day tomolo, but will be sian after sch.. nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one... sad life...
maybe i should look on the bright side of life.. yeah

hihihi, feeling much better today. good. but blog still looks bad. sigh.. well, bio day in sch today was boring. as usual. still can't believe it, bio lect, prac and tut all in a day, one after another... like that more than enough bio for one day.. arrgh, never mind, will have to learn to live with it.

was damn glum in school today, ppl actually started asking me what's wrong.. well, i wonder if it was that bad.. juz a slight change and it's so obvious? don noe if i'm looking forward to labour day tomolo.. still dunnoe wassup. will arrange stuff later.. should be a whole day out again... yeah, parents won't be happy.. but heck...

oh yeah, play some ball today after skool. muz say it's got a therapeutic effect on me... that's good..

really, pissed off..will try sleep it off... just saw some basketball on tv, inspired now..
need to juz screw my worries...

fuck lah, what's wrong with my blog man.. looks like shit to me all of a sudden.. damn, is it juz me or is my world just going real shitty now.. hope it goes up soon, or i'll die... not that it could go any lower... damndamndamn... been feeling bad since last night.. muz get over it and i need help... frustrated once again..oh, yeah, that reminds me.. i'll have to get functions notes soon, really fucking missed everything that shitty lecturer went thru, which cannot be much coz she's like the worst teacher ever i think..
shit, what position am i in to judge others? i sux anyway.. well, shit.. i miss my oldself sometimes.

well, was a terrible day today... maybe just not in the right frame of mind. really losing my direction these days.. direction in life.. which is bad. will try sort stuff out soon so that i can be more normal, like my old self maybe? seriously, i think i'm just thinking too much, which is wat happens when u have nothing to do everyday after school.. will deal with that too.

I've been thinking about wat problems i have with myself.. yeah
1. perhaps i'm too easily influenced by stuff that happens around me. things i read or hearor watever.. muz correct this.. or i'll suffer, i noe.
2. another thing is procrastination or simply just delaying things that ought to be done.. i think most of the time i'm in shit due to this.. whatever shit it may be..
3. also, i think that sometimes i hide my emotions and feeling too well, no one knows how i actually feel. which sux. sometimes, when i feel real down, i'll still manage a smile or stupid comment and seem happy, well, i believe that others should not get any shit from me just becuz i'm feeling shitty.. yeah...

well, can't list all my shit dough... yeah, really need a break yeah.. see one coming up, thursday. good time to recharge myself, and clear my head.. which will be tough... see ya round.. =)
i'm fine(i hope)

well, hope things aren't so bad after all... for the first time, not looking forward to sch tomolo... sighsigh.. not that i love sch or wat, but always glad to see frenz... yeah so ... hope everything will be fine =)

hmm, suddenly feeling damn down this moment... can't say for sure.. yeah, today sucks shit. well, almost...
bad afternoon.. don noe why, my whole class just disappeared..
while walking to mrt alone today, i realised that i really hate being alone, lonely and loneliness anyway.. quite shit actually.. guess i like to be with ppl i'm familiar with... yeah, guess it'll be a good feeling if someone actually cares about you... dunnoe why i'm saying this.. sheesh..
really don noe wat tomorrow will bring, really.. rather cliche but nonetheless true.. should try to be happier...

first and foremost, my thanxx to THE ONE who helped me set this up.. yeah, glad you actually bothered!!
as you can see, still some stuff to sort out... the font is pissing me off, will do something bout it... too tired now..and the last box on the right there---> couldn't get it right... sigh, will get that done too...

anyway, was a usual sunday for me(aka real boring)... had satay beehoon at bedok south for lunch, it was surprisingly good.. muz go again.. but i can't really eat spicy stuff... sigh, then spent the whole late afternoon debating whether or not to drop german.. decided to after a real long fight with my mind.. arrgh, still suffering from hangover of that... could use the free time though.. yeah. could spend more time with people who matter to me =) haha, why do i sound so weird....

" For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it."
- 1 Timothy 6:7